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As
a couple grows and their lives change, the marriage is bound to change
as well. As a couple moves through the different phases of life, they
can expect their intimacy and communication to change as well.
Understanding the different stages can help couples recognize what is
normal and when there’s a problem.
Here are the seven stages of marriage as enumerated by MarriageCounsellingBlog:
1. Passion Stage- The
passion stage is the first phase of the relationship. It is also known
as the “honeymoon period.” During this stage there is a lot of
excitement and the focus of the relationship is all about getting to
know one another better. There’s also a lot of excitement around
intimacy. Couples in this stage should be focusing on building their
sense of identity as a couple and making time for another. Of course
this stage is easiest for two young people who don’t have a lot of
responsibility. When couples are getting remarried and have children and
careers, it can be more complicated to devote time and energy to the
relationship.
2. Realization Stage- During
the realization stage couples get to really know one another, both good
and bad. There may be a little less emotion and a little more rational
thinking in this stage. During this stage communication is the key. It
is important that both people are able to confide in one another and the
couple is able to build trust with one another. Being able to really
listen to one another is essential.
3. Rebellion Stage- During
the rebellion stage an individual may be trying to assert himself more
and is starting to look out for his own self-interests. Sometimes there
are increased disagreements or even hidden power struggles brewing. It
is important for couples in this stage to learn how to resolve conflict
peacefully. Being able to keep promises, negotiate and compromise are
all key to working through this stage. Also couples during this stage
can learn to identify and appreciate their differences.
4. Cooperation Stage- During
the cooperation stage, a couple is often more preoccupied with other
things in life rather than each other. For example, a couple may be
dealing with children, work, household responsibilities, volunteering
and other tasks which can make the relationship seem less of a
priority. Couples during this stage run the risk of becoming more like
roommates or business partners rather than romantic lovers. During this
stage it is important that a couple make their marriage a top priority. A
regular date night and setting aside time to enjoy one another’s
company free from life’s distractions can be helpful.
5. Reunion Stage–
The reunion stage is often during the empty nest phase of life. After
the children leave home, a couple has more time to devote to one another
and their marriage. A couple in this stage can benefit from refocusing
their energy and creating new memories together as a couple.
6. Explosion Stage- The
explosion stage can happen at any point along the way. During this
stage, a couple is experiencing a major change or crisis, such as a
health problem or unemployment. It is important that couples in this
stage pay attention to their needs and gain support as necessary to work
through the crisis.
7. Completion Stage- A
couple in the completion stage has ongoing stability and security.
Together, a couple in this stage can appreciate one another and the life
they have created for themselves. During this stage a couple can
benefit from creating even more of a sense of meaning and purpose. For
example, volunteering together or starting a side business just for fun
may help a couple establish a new sense of purpose for themselves.
Recognizing the Stage You Are In
Although
in real life, people don’t always move through these stages in a simple
fashion, it can be helpful to identify which stage you identify with
the most. Then take a look at how your relationship is evolving and how
you can adjust accordingly to keep your marriage strong.
As
a couple grows together, there is always a sort of push and pull. This
push and pull develops as a couple grows together but also as
individuals. Successful couples are able to navigate through the changes
by evaluating their relationship and working together to maintain
communication and intimacy.
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